The Bowlers Lament or... Why I Lost The Match!

Bowlers Lament 1. The woods were slipping out of my hand.
2. The green doesn't suite my woods.
3. The green was wet.
4. The green needed cutting.
5. The wood's were sticking to my fingers.
6. The green was too slow.
7. The disc fell out of my wood's.
8. The green was too dry.
9. My hands were oily due to the warm weather making me sweat..
10. I was late from work and all the rushing about left me unsettled.
11. I could never play left handier's.
12. My wood's are no good on that crown in this weather.
13. I could not find a decent mark.
14. Three night's running is too much for me.
15. The pace of the green changed half way through the game.
16. They've taken the crown off the green.
17. I didn't know where too take him.
18. I had a sore hand.
19. His wood's were heavier than mine.
20. The Jack's were weak.
21. The mat was slipping.
22. I got a Gnat bite on my eye.
23. The blocks were too strong.
24. The light was bad and I couldn't see.
25. I was out-wooded.
26. I thought I had a novice and he turned out to be a County bowler.
27. The wife told me I had to be home early.
28. I took the wrong wood's.
29. The crown was too high.
30. The green was too big.
31. I've been ill.
32. I'm never at my best going last.
33. It just wasn't my night.
34. He had all the luck that was going.
35. He talked me right off it.
36. I could never bowl this green.
37. I had been to a funeral and I wasn't in the mood for bowls.
38. I had to use somebody else's woods.
39. The green had been cut the wrong way.

And the one that is rarely heard....
40. He bowled better than I did.


A few reasons, overheard at many a green at many a club during the season.
Most of which I am sure we all can own up to using at some time or other?
If you have any other reason's which can be added to the list, please send them in using the form below.

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